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by
Robert Bautner (Author)
“I wish I never had you.”
“You talk in riddles.”
“Can’t you talk intelligent?”
My mother said these words to me more than times than I can count.
I thought it was normal.
I learned it was not.
This is my story.
I didn’t speak until I was five. At age six, I was put in special education and called a ‘retard’ by my own brothers.
I was autistic, but no one knew it. Except God knew. At six years old, He told me He was watching over me. I didn’t even know who God was, except by the spitting remarks my mother made about religion at the dinner table.
At seven I was abused by my friend’s 19-year-old cousin. At ten my mother punched me in the face with her closed fist, blaming me for something I didn’t do. Realizing she would never love me, I no longer wanted to live. I handed my brother a knife and demanded that he use it on me. He stared at me and laughed.
It was at that moment I realized I had no choice but to survive and no one was going to help me. I had to choose my own path. I had to learn to love myself. I had to turn the negatives in my life into positives.
Autistic, dyslexic, and carrying a big secret, I made my way in the world with a single dream.
Number of Pages: 488Dimensions: 0.98 x 9 x 6 INPublication Date: October 31, 2023
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